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< L DykeWrite3 # >

2003-06-10 - 5:42 p.m.

PLEASE NOTE (ish) :

The following graphic is NOT from one of those very popular "WHICH supreme court justice/Osborne family member/Charlie's Angel would you be?" Quiz's that you see around diaryland... OH, no. This is not from one of those.

The following graphic is in reference to a VERY enlightening/NOT that enlightening/somewhat disturbing/sorta 'duh "study" that I heard on the radio yesterday, which in turn caused me to re-report it HERE, which won't be in my usual FLAVA' or whatever(ish), but it STRUCK ME, and I came home and found it online and now I'm telling ALL Y'ALL about it. So, yeah.

Following is a graphic and a re-telling regarding a study. It STRUCK ME. That's all I'm sayin.

After I've re-told, i'll return you to regularly scheduled "Live @ Lakeridge" programming. (whatever).

So, yeah... the over-introduced graphic:

And now, the re-telling/report:

I was tuned into talk radio yesterday, waiting for TRAFFIC ON THE 1’S, and I was treated to news of a STUDY recently completed. These ALL NEWS/ALL-THE-TIME type stations use the reporting of “STUDIES” like this as filler when they aren’t updating the listener on traffic, weather, the stock market or some other item that we would soil-ourselves if we didn’t have updated every 10 minutes when sitting in our cars on the “kiss my ass” freeways of lovely Southern California.

Right, so anyway--the study I was treated to… that I was lucky enough to EAR-WITNESS was done on RATS (of course, it’s always Rats. Poor damn rats) and this time THE SCIENTISTS have been WATCHING and MANIPULATING a group of 100 RATS and found the following:

Direct quote from study found online:

“BABY RATS who were LICKED BY THEIR MOTHERS A LOT turned out to be LESS ANXIOUS and FEARFUL AS ADULTS and produced LOWER LEVELS of STRESS HORMONES than those who were groomed less.”

The RAT SCIENTISTS found that “..the MOTHERS LICKING caused the BABY’S BRAIN to CRANK UP A GENE involved in SOOTHING THE BODY in STRESSFUL SITUATIONS.”

Apparently, (get this!) “…several HUMAN STUDIES have found an ASSOCIATION between a MOTHERS NURTURING and the FUTURE MENTAL HEALTH of HER CHILDREN…”

Hmmm, ya think??

Back to the RATS, The POOR MANIPULATED RATS:

“..To VERIFY that it was THE LICKING BEHAVIOR that was causing the difference and not inherited genes, the SCIENTISTS SWAPPED THE BABIES and MOTHERS around, so that OFFSPRING OF MOTHERS THAT LICKED A LOT were GIVEN TO LOW-LICKING MOTHERS and VICE VERSA. The results were the same - those who got LICKED A LOT turned out to be LESS STRESSED OUT AS ADULTS, REGARDLESS of WHO THEIR NATURAL MOTHER WAS…”

The RAT SCIENTISTS even “..TOOK THE MOTHERS OUT OF THE PICTURE ALTOGETHER and STROKED THE BABY RATS with PAINT BRUSHES. It does the same thing that maternal licking does," The RAT SCIENTIST said.

--------------------------------------------------

So, quite a STUDY, eh?

I’m just wondering….

Where was MY “let’s try a PAINT BRUSH instead of a mother” Scientist when I needed them?

Okay… so I’m guessing that the study obviously struck THIS RAT close to home for some “never licked by my mother” reason.

I will dig a deeper hole and go so far and continue by saying to those listening (whatever) that : THERE IS NO CONNECTION between RATS THAT WEREN’T LICKED A LOT BY THEIR MOTHERS, that in turn BECOME LESBIAN RATS who are consequently, apparently, in turn, TREATED VERY WELL by their SAME SEX PARTNER/RAT-LESBIAN-LOVER/MEAL TICKET in the licking and grooming department.

I’m just saying. Study that.

Thank you for your patience and indulgence.