- 7:18 p.m.
I can’t wait to share ALL THE HORRIFIC DETAILS (ish) with all y’all in the very near future, but let’s just say that I can now SORT OF “sit” (if you will) on the edge of my chair and type at my computer and procrastinate again… just like BEFORE I BROKE IN HALF 8 days ago.
I can’t wait to tell you about my NEW CHIROPRACTOR (a poor man’s Julianne Moore meets Shelly Long) and we can speculate (not speculum, speculate) together how she’s spending ALL THE MONEY I’VE GIVEN HER in the last 8 days.
The one thing I will SHARE with you tonight, as I SORT OF “sit” (if you will) on the edge of my chair and type at my computer and procrastinate again is this:
A) Hold a LARGE CUP while you PEE into it (and rest your hand on the top of her head for balance;
B) Shave your legs (NOT during a candle-lit bath)
C) Put on/remove your shoes
D) Put a PILLOW under your legs (not in a good way)
E) Facilitate your PERSONAL HYGIENE ISSUES.
Please, if I can get an AMEN? Can I get an Amen??? While you’re at it… will ALL OF YOU please give a GIANT ROUND OF APPLAUSE to MY most AMAZING GIRLFRIEND/SAME-SEX PARTNER/LADY-LOVER/MEAL TICKET/JEWISH-AMERICAN CAREGIVER…. She ROCKS the house!!
xoxo more soon from here….