2004-01-20 - 3:10 p.m.

As promised, PART ONE of WACKY WEEKEND.

My AMAZING girlfriend/same-sex partner/lady-lover/meal-ticket/weekend companion and I had made plans to MEET UP with a veryclose friend of ours who we hadn�t had the chance to HANG WITH lately. This veryclose friend of ours is a CHILDHOOD FRIEND of My AMAZING girlfriend/same-sex partner/lady-lover/meal-ticket/she�s -nearly-forty-and-you�d-never-know-it.

They have known each other since they were Ten. This veryclose friend, I�ll call her GLYNN (not a great alias, but we�ve already established that I�m lousy with alias�s) is how WE met. We, meaning� MY SHE and I. We met through GLYNN.

GLYNN and I worked together manymany years ago� when I used to work�. with people�. In a place. We were both like� oh� 22(ish). We were young(ish) in a world of older, faster people. We learned together. She continued in THAT industry� as she was OBSCENELY TALENTED in THAT way� and has risen to a VERY HIGH POSITION within a very FRESH and SUCCESSFUL company within THAT industry. She�s a VP with loads of cash and power that she uses for good, not evil. She�s beautiful (some would say �hot�, whatever), Married to a guy she loves and they have a young daughter. American Dream and all that. That�s GLYNN.

Many years ago (before you were born), I was still working in THAT industry. I had started a little (fresh) company and we NEEDED someone that did �a particular thing�. GLYNN had a friend. An old friend. A childhood friend. A talented friend that was AMAZINGLY GOOD at �that particular thing�. She introduced ME to her childhood friend. YEP. That was our meeting. Me and SHE. My SHE. GLYNN introduced my SHE to me. We love her for that.

And� even though I was still STRAIGHT (whatever) at the time� and SHE (my SHE) was NOT� we became PLATONIC FRIENDS (that�s what I thought, anyway). Eventually she brainwashed/mind-controlled me out of my formerly-straight life into a life of LESBIAN-LOVE and NEVER-A-DULL-MOMENT. That was almost twelve years ago. Yikes.

So� back to LAST WEEKEND. We were meeting up with GLYNN. She was staying in a town a few hours away� in a hotel and wanted us to come and hang out, grab some dinner, consume some beverages� then crash with her at her hotel.

Okay. Fine. Super. Great.

We meet-up. We share a few cocktails and lots of laughs. We go to dinner. Chips, salsa, entrees, make it a double, on the rocks, no salt� rinse, lather, repeat. More laughs. And another. We make it back to her hotel� We hang out with a few of her work-homies (also VP types, but verycool and REAL). Another round.

And then�. Innocent conversing/laughter between myself and her boss-guy(ish) (a higher-up VP, but you�d never know it by his sneakers). HE was SMART, FUNNY� and a boy. Sometimes that BOY energy is refreshing to just LOOK AT� for an hour� during the end of an evening with drinks. Nobody gets hurt. Everybody ends up with their pre-determined sexual partner� but for several minutes you watch and listen to his stories� be reminded of the way that a 42 year old BOY�s beard grows in after a long day� it�s just� well, something different. It�s like trying a different ROUTE on your way home. You�re not going to SWITCH to that route. You�re not going to END UP at a DIFFERENT home. NO, you�re just examining different scenery� without actually getting out of the car. You don�t even roll down the windows. You�re just looking.

AND� your AMAZING girlfriend/same-sex partner/lady-lover/meal-ticket/weekend companion is just a few feet away and she doesn�t seem to mind and she knows that you LOVE her and are TOTALLY ATTRACTED TO HER� so, it�s not a problem. You�re just looking.

AND�.It wasn�t flirting. Just conversing and looking. Conversing with a side order of observation. That was all THAT was. Conversing and looking at a 42-year old MARRIED straight boy with a days worth of beard growing in. Nothing more than that.

Oy!�. and THAT wasn�t even the thing I was going to tell you (the rambling,, it�s a problem� don�t you think??)

So anyway� back to the END of the evening� Okay--- after many beverages and laughs and stories, GLYNN, My AMAZING girlfriend/same-sex partner/lady-lover/meal-ticket/weekend companion and I made our way up to GLYNN�s room.

We sang in the elevator. We laughed some more. FUN. Good times.

GLYNN opens the door to her room (which I THOUGHT would be a SUITE, but it wasn�t, it was a room)� and there it is. A BED. One big bed� and then a single roll-a-way.

Now� here�s the thing. I didn�t know what the plan was� but I didn�t want to Sleep with My AMAZING girlfriend/same-sex partner/lady-lover/meal-ticket/weekend companion in the BIG BED and have GLYNN sleep in the roll-a-way. I wasn�t worried that in a drunken stupor WE would accidentally have a spontaneous �red shoe diaries� episode with GLYNN watching� but I worried that GLYNN might worry about that.

GLYNN and I have never really DISCUSSED my �switchover� to �the other team� in SO MANY WORDS� but of course she KNOWS it happened� and that it�s HER FAULT(thankyouverymuch) that I met the person that caused the SWITCH. And yet�. We�ve never DISCUSSED it. It�s just a FACT that we�re together� and have been for many years� BUT� still� I think that out of ALL our �Straight� friends�GLYNN is the only one that I�d have trouble SLEEPING with My AMAZING girlfriend/same-sex partner/lady-lover/meal-ticket/weekend companion in the BIG BED� in front of.

NOT SURE WHY. It�s just a fact. Whatever. I�ll talk to my therapist(ish) about it tomorrow.

Anyway� though� so�..in our drunken-ness, it was decided that My AMAZING girlfriend/same-sex partner/lady-lover/meal-ticket/weekend companion would sleep in the ROLL-A-WAY and GLYNN and I would share the BIG BED.

Whatever. Where�s my toothbrush?

Okay, briefly I was concerned that I might rollover in the middle of the night and try to spoon her, but I assured myself that it wouldn�t happen.

I�m not a �spooner�, I�m a �spooneee�, anyway.

The three of us each did our own drunken versions of changing into our pajamas(ish) and made it into our spots: (again; with My AMAZING girlfriend/same-sex partner/lady-lover/meal-ticket/weekend companion in the ROLL-A-WAY and GLYNN and I in the BIG BED).

Within minutes, My AMAZING girlfriend/same-sex partner/lady-lover/meal-ticket/weekend companion was FAST ASLEEP� lightly-snoring on her way to dream land. No sheep-counting necessary.

I flipped on the TV and forced GLYNN, not an avid TV Viewer, to SURF the channels with me. I exposed her to THE HOME SHOPPING NETWORK as they were hawking 42� CERAMIC DOLLS (��the children are so life-like�) and she was horrified. We watched portions of an old LOVE BOAT episode and an Infomercial for a product we weren�t sure was LEGAL. Finally� I announced that I�d had my fill (she was relieved) and we settled into our spots for the night.

I curled up into my frozen shrimp-like-embryo position and hugged my edge of the bed. GLYNN spread out and, if anything, MIGHT have tried to spoon me�at one point, around 3:45 am.

We woke up the next morning, my head shaped like a Margarita Glass� and I KEPT TO MYSELF about the fact that BOTH GLYNN and My AMAZING girlfriend/same-sex partner/lady-lover/meal-ticket/weekend companion had been competing in a TANDEM-SNORING contest that had kept me awake for an hour after BOTH of them were already asleep. It was like dueling banjos. It was both hilarious and harmonious� in a snoring kind of way. No complaint from me, though. I�m thoughtful that way.

So� yeah. It was great to have spent the evening with GLYNN� and we need to see her more often. She�s the reason we met. We headed back to LA and promised to talk again this week about our next �outing�.

Maybe next time I�ll let her see My AMAZING girlfriend/same-sex partner/lady-lover/meal-ticket/weekend companion and I SLEEPING IN THE SAME BED. Maybe even spooning. For more than that, she�ll need to rent videos� or watch �The L Word�.

No big deal, right?

Okay� that�s it for today.

Tomorrow�s Update:Wacky Weekend, Part Two: Another Visit with a Childhood Friend.

Xoxoxo to you and yours!