2004-02-03 - 7:38 p.m.

I guess the best word to describe it would be MELTDOWN.

A few minutes ago… right here in the middle of our home…. I became a two year old child in the middle of an amusement park who’s had too much sugar, too many rides on the giant tea-cup and one too many chances to see the giant mouse with the white-gloved hands saying “hello kids” in a high-pitched voice. I was WORSE than Howard Dean during THAT pep rally speech. Pissy-er than Jerry Fallwell is about Melissa and her new “wife”.More set-off than Janet Jackson after her recent “wardrobe malfunction”.

AND…. AND…. AND… My very patient, I think-she-still-loves-me-girlfriend/same-sex partner/lady-lover/meal-ticket/collaborative partner and director on the project we’re working on…. Held me in her arms (and apparently NOT so she could put the silencer-tip of a GUN into the back of my skull) and told me SHE LOVED ME. She told me I was on overload… and that SHE LOVED ME. She reminded me that we’d been riding a rollercoaster… and that SHE LOVED ME. She informed me that I need to CHILL… and that SHE LOVED ME.

I’m a lucky bastard-ess. I wish I had one of HER for EACH OF YOU.

Additionally, I have those swollen-cry-baby-eyes that you get after you have a tear-filled MELTDOWN and then your girlfriend/same-sex partner/lady-lover/meal-ticket/collaborative partner holds you in her arms and tells you she loves you… instead of calling you an EVIL, MANIACAL, RAGING BITCH… which is much, much more accurate.

Issues. I promise to work on them tomorrow morning with my therapist(ish).

In the meantime… I hope ALL OF YOU are doing YOUR thing… and NOT melting down.

Xoxoxoxo more soon.

Loads of love to y’all.