2005-04-18 - 5:55 p.m.

Hellooooooo��. (please add more O�s at your discretion).

Checkin� in with y�all after the weekend. This could be a good sign. An indication of more writing to come. I hope THAT�S what THIS is an indication of. A symptom of the further onslaught of days and days of rambling entries. I�m crossing my fingers(ish).

Let�s not jump to conclusions. I�m taking a �wait and see� attitude. We�ll see if I can make it back here, day after day� even put ONE DAMN WEEK TOGETHER where I get here, every day. I�d like that.

Let the reporting begin, then. Shall I/we/me/I?

First, and not in chronological order, I begin with LAST NIGHT.

My Amazing Girlfriend/Same-Sex Partner/Lady-Lover/Meal Ticket/Topless Dancer/Fixer-of-all-things-broken and I had dinner last night with �LUCKY�. Do any of you remember �Lucky� from �Lucky and The Homewrecker�? Anyway, in the almost 2 years since her girlfriend, �The Homewrecker� called home one day from work to tell �Lucky� that IT WAS OVER and SHE WAS MOVING OUT (oh, and moving in with another woman�freakin�friggin-frac mother-f�er) �Lucky� has rebuilt her life, moved, started seeing a therapist-situation, and moved on (ish). She�s dated here and there, but nobody that we thought was A FIT� as �Lucky� is an amazing woman. Brilliant! Funny! (Sooooooo Funny), Beautiful, Her taste in music�Genius! Her knowledge of POP CULTURE, mensa-level. So, of course nobody would be good enough for her (in my eyes) and certainly NOBODY could ever be trusted with LUCKY�S HEART again� (in my opinion) and� have I mentioned� I�m very invested in making sure that my friends are safe and happy and loved. SOOOOOOOOOOOOO�

Dinner LAST NIGHT with �Lucky� and THE NEW WOMAN she�s dating (they�ve been dating for almost 2 months) and we�ve gotten together several times prior to this, and I really do LIKE this new girl for �Lucky�. The new girl, �Charly� has it
together (ish), is in THE BUSINESS (not the mob, the Hollywood) and knows what she�s doing and knows what she wants. She wants �Lucky�. Desperately. She spotted �Lucky� at My Amazing Girlfriend/Same-Sex Partner/Lady-Lover/Meal Ticket/Topless Dancer/Brilliantly-gifted Photographer�s Photo Show in November and was CRUSHING on �Lucky� hard, from a far, for weeks until she started asking around. Finding out how to arrange another �casual encounter�. That �casual encounter� happened in Feb�and she asked �Lucky� out� and BLAM! They were spooning the following weekend.

I really liked how they seem to fit. It made sense. There was a chemistry. �Lucky� was smiling (even grinning) and all was good. Until Last night. �Lucky� seemed heavy-hearted. I could tell. It was unspoken. Colorless, odorless� but I could tell. Askew. Something was. We arrived at Lucky�s place and people enjoyed a beverage and then walked a few blocks to dinner. I grabbed Lucky�s elbow and sped up our pace to get her alone and using a series of hand gestures and eyebrow raises, I asked her what was up.

She told me, in our own, unspoken/high-pitched x-ray vision language that, indeed, something was up.

We told My Amazing Girlfriend/Same-Sex Partner/Lady-Lover/Meal Ticket/Topless Dancer/Decoy Talker to �Charly� (and �Charly�) that we were stopping to �look in a store window--- you should go on ahead..put our name in� we�ll catch up �you know how we chicks like to do the window shopping�� So, we pretended to look at vintage items in a store window and I GRILLED Lucky.

It seems that �Charly� is totally, hopelessly devoted and in major L-I-K-E (dare I say Love?) with Lucky. Major. Lucky� not there yet. Maybe�. Maybe never.

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Why? Why can�t I knock Lucky over the head and get her to see that this is a GOOD GIRL. Maybe it�s chemistry. There doesn�t seem to be as much chemistry, and it�s only month 2. That�s not a good sign, I suppose. Anyway--- Lucky hasn�t made any decisions, and she SOOOOO doesn�t want to hurt �Charly�� but she�s just not sure� and, quite honestly� still healing from �The dump of the Homewrecker�. That had been her first, REAL DEAL. You don�t get over that so easily. I know she�s scared. I hugged her tight and told her not to feel pressured and to take it slow and to try not to compare �Charly� with �The Homewrecker� and to chew slowly and look both ways before she crosses the street�. And WHY can�t I make it all magically good for everyone? Is that too much to ask?

Anyway--- Lucky�s got some thinkin� to do� and I hope �Charly� can give her the room she needs to think. Eh? And I hope the magical �Chemistry Fairy� can somehow re-ignite something and help them back onto the �Wow, you�re HOT� path.

So, after dinner, we went back to Lucky�s place and watched THE L WORD.

I know, so clich�, but it really has become a SUNDAY NIGHT ACTIVITY amongst the LEZZIES out here. We gather and mock. We gather like a group of MONKEYS watching a fictional show about MONKEYS on THE DISCOVERY CHANNEL. It�s pretty damn funny and hilarious to see that no matter WHICH group of friends you�re watching with, everyone is completely compelled (beyond control) to mock and analyze�and DAMN IT� ENJOY! So� I guess they�ve accomplished their goals, the people at SHOWTIME. The lezzies are watching and laughing, and probably some of the STRAIGHT WHITE MALES are watching and making their wives watch, too. I hope they�re enjoying it as much as we are (ish).

The other reportable event of the weekend was the BIRTHDAY PARTY of My Amazing Girlfriend/Same-Sex Partner/Lady-Lover/Meal Ticket/Topless Dancer/Auntie of many�s 5-YEAR-OLD NEPHEW. The party was at her WONDERFUL sister�s house�. In the valley.

I love her sister. She�s cool and she gets it. She�s got a sweet little husband and 2 sweet little boys and they have a white picket fence. Literally. AND�she gets it. And she loves being a mom and has a wide variety of friends from all different walks of life (whatever that means) and we dig her. So, THE BIRTHDAY PARTY� and the Shamu The Whale Cake. And the Shamu The Whale Pi�ata. And the Shamu The Whale etc.

We arrived and were greeted by the husband of a friend of hers. The husband�don�t get me started. NEVER trust a 43-year-old man wearing snug-fitting overalls.

Why does a grown man (who doesn�t work on a farm) need to wear overalls, anyway? It gave me the creeps, as did the �snugness� factor. Too snug. MUCH too snug. I could see his penis-shaped keys in his pocket the whole time. Oh wait. Those weren�t his keys!!! It was his penis-shaped penis. Come on, why? Why??????? At a 5 year old�s birthday party, for god�s sake.

Anyway, we averted hugging him in his snug-fitting overalls and acted preoccupied with the carrying of presents, etc. Thankfully. Believe me, I don�t mind seeing SOMEONE ELSES penis-shaped penis (or keys) just not his. In overalls. Or anyway, for that matter. He�s creepy. AND� (Here�s the and): His wife once admitted/confessed to us, in a �one too many margaritas� evening that she�d had a brief sexual encounter with her college roommate. Her FEMALE college roommate. Ah. Sigh. The confessions. Bring �em on.
It�s like we are some sort of clergy member that takes the same-sex confessions. Anyway, in her case it was fine and she�s fine, just---can�t believe she married that creepy guy that wears too-snug-fitting-overalls as an adult male.

I�m still trying to get the sound of My Amazing Girlfriend/Same-Sex Partner/Lady-Lover/Meal Ticket/Topless Dancer/Auntie of many�s BROTHERS WIFE (our sister-in-law-'s?) voice out of my head as she was in a tree swing, begging... BEGGING her husband to push the swing �Harder�. HARDer�. HARDER�� I felt like I was given a brief glimpse into something I didn�t want to hear/see/hear� oy.

And that� was sorta it.

More tomorrow? Let�s hope so.
Be good to yourselves, in the meantime.
Xoxoxo ME