2005-05-06 - 12:29 p.m.

Hello and HAPPY FRIDAY to y�all.
It�s wonderful to be sitting upright at my desk once again.
(I�ll PAUSE HERE for you to think about that sentence and perhaps wonder, if only very briefly, WHY I haven�t been sitting upright at my desk lately)

HERE�S THE THING:

Monday (hello four days ago) Morning, everyone FLAKED OUT on our workout. The TRAINER called in "period-sick" (even trainers get bad cramps) . Then our TWO LADY-LADIES called and were already swamped with work-related issues (making �deals� taking �meetings� �etc�) and, though you won�t believe it, even my AMAZING Girlfriend/Same-Sex Partner/Lady-Lover/Meal Ticket/Athletic Dream-come-true decided she wanted to SLEEP IN. So, it was only me. Fired up. Ready to sweat. Solo.

Fine. I could do that. I�ve done that before. I know how to use all the equipment, I know a good routine. Fine. Fine.

And that�s where my trouble started. You see, the trainer usually OVERDOES IT with the stretching. We complain at the amount of time that she spends having us stretch. So, �sans-trainer� I only spent
FIVE minutes...well, okay-
a few minutes...well, okay-
less than a minute
STRETCHING.
Uh huh. I know. Now I know.

I did the workout. I rocked the house. Sweat everywhere. Steps flying, bike moving, weights being lifted/hoisted, trampoline being jumped on, push-ups being pushed-up. Punching Bag being Punched. You see how amazing it was. Truly. But. Then.

Then. Simple, really. No thought at all. Time to clean up.
�PICK UP YOUR YOGA MAT and put it away�.
OOPS.
You didn�t bend your knees.
YOU DIDN�T BEND YOUR KNEES.
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Crack (or snap) or (something).
Broken.
In half.
Or so it seemed.
Frozen.
Stuck.
In half.
Like a broken/frozen-in-half sweaty post-workout statue.

I called out (okay, CRIED OUT) for my AMAZING Girlfriend/Same-Sex Partner/Lady-Lover/Meal Ticket/still-sleeping CHICA and� she didn�t hear me.

So. I felt sorry for myself.
Whimpered.
Took deeeeeeeeeep breaths, then s-l-o-w-l-y inched my way into the house.
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Whimper.
Sigh.

And.
Of course.
She. SHE took care of me.
I�m so damn lucky.
So.

UNFORTCH�two very dear friends had BIRTHDAYS this week and so I, against everyone�s better judgement, participated in varied celebrations where I might as well have been represented by a pile of mashed potatoes. THAT is how much fun I was to be around. WHAT could I have been thinking, going out to �Birthday Drinks� with a big group of fun-loving LADIES who would all be �hopped up� on the wine and liquor type beverages while I sat there, barely able to reach for my glass of water, communicating with people through a series of blinks and hand gestures. NOT my best work.

My lackluster performance and comatose vibe was provided by:

Soooooooooooo�.My Lady was NONE TOO PLEASED at my insistence of going out in the first place and we left early. And I promised to be less STUBBORN next time. OF COURSE I shouldn�t have gone out. What? What was I thinking?

Anyway�today is better. By next week this will be a fuzzy memory.

And that�s about what I�ve got for you today.

Wishing you all a great weekend filled with lots of excitement/relaxation/whatever you're looking for. Just don't forget to bend your knees.

Xoxox
More Soon.
Me.