••LAST 5 ENTRIES••

Cut, cut. - 2007-02-09

No, really... how are YOU? - 2006-10-23

And now, finally: something (ish) - 2006-07-27

What Happened to March and April, eh??? - 2006-04-25

Well hello there, February. - 2006-02-16

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< L DykeWrite3 # >

2005-05-06 - 12:29 p.m.

Hello and HAPPY FRIDAY to y’all.
It’s wonderful to be sitting upright at my desk once again.
(I’ll PAUSE HERE for you to think about that sentence and perhaps wonder, if only very briefly, WHY I haven’t been sitting upright at my desk lately)

HERE’S THE THING:

Monday (hello four days ago) Morning, everyone FLAKED OUT on our workout. The TRAINER called in "period-sick" (even trainers get bad cramps) . Then our TWO LADY-LADIES called and were already swamped with work-related issues (making “deals” taking “meetings” “etc”) and, though you won’t believe it, even my AMAZING Girlfriend/Same-Sex Partner/Lady-Lover/Meal Ticket/Athletic Dream-come-true decided she wanted to SLEEP IN. So, it was only me. Fired up. Ready to sweat. Solo.

Fine. I could do that. I’ve done that before. I know how to use all the equipment, I know a good routine. Fine. Fine.

And that’s where my trouble started. You see, the trainer usually OVERDOES IT with the stretching. We complain at the amount of time that she spends having us stretch. So, “sans-trainer” I only spent
FIVE minutes...well, okay-
a few minutes...well, okay-
less than a minute
STRETCHING.
Uh huh. I know. Now I know.

I did the workout. I rocked the house. Sweat everywhere. Steps flying, bike moving, weights being lifted/hoisted, trampoline being jumped on, push-ups being pushed-up. Punching Bag being Punched. You see how amazing it was. Truly. But. Then.

Then. Simple, really. No thought at all. Time to clean up.
“PICK UP YOUR YOGA MAT and put it away”.
OOPS.
You didn’t bend your knees.
YOU DIDN’T BEND YOUR KNEES.
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Crack (or snap) or (something).
Broken.
In half.
Or so it seemed.
Frozen.
Stuck.
In half.
Like a broken/frozen-in-half sweaty post-workout statue.

I called out (okay, CRIED OUT) for my AMAZING Girlfriend/Same-Sex Partner/Lady-Lover/Meal Ticket/still-sleeping CHICA and… she didn’t hear me.

So. I felt sorry for myself.
Whimpered.
Took deeeeeeeeeep breaths, then s-l-o-w-l-y inched my way into the house.
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Whimper.
Sigh.

And.
Of course.
She. SHE took care of me.
I’m so damn lucky.
So.

UNFORTCH—two very dear friends had BIRTHDAYS this week and so I, against everyone’s better judgement, participated in varied celebrations where I might as well have been represented by a pile of mashed potatoes. THAT is how much fun I was to be around. WHAT could I have been thinking, going out to “Birthday Drinks” with a big group of fun-loving LADIES who would all be “hopped up” on the wine and liquor type beverages while I sat there, barely able to reach for my glass of water, communicating with people through a series of blinks and hand gestures. NOT my best work.

My lackluster performance and comatose vibe was provided by:

Soooooooooooo….My Lady was NONE TOO PLEASED at my insistence of going out in the first place and we left early. And I promised to be less STUBBORN next time. OF COURSE I shouldn’t have gone out. What? What was I thinking?

Anyway—today is better. By next week this will be a fuzzy memory.

And that’s about what I’ve got for you today.

Wishing you all a great weekend filled with lots of excitement/relaxation/whatever you're looking for. Just don't forget to bend your knees.

Xoxox
More Soon.
Me.