- 5:27 p.m.
Really, I have.
Missed you. All.
It’s really getting to be incredibly ridiculous, the infrequency of it all. Here.
I’m filled with glee (or glee-equivalent) just to be sitting here with the time and mental fuel to write this little entry, so… I’ll celebrate that.
As always, I stand here, offering imaginary flowers and candy as an apology, my head held down in shame at the fact that I’M NOT UPDATING ENOUGH.
And how are YOU? And YOU? What about YOU over there in the middle? Okay, I see. Me too.
But… wait—today. Today’s date: July 11th. 7/11.
The storefront home of my arch-nemesis (or whatever), DIET COKE. I must celebrate the date that coincides with the retail outlet that helped fuel BINGE AFTER BINGE of my carbonated lover. BUT—here’s the thing, recently, a few (select) locations have begun to carry CAFFEINE FREE DIET COKE, which, some may not understand, but for me, it’s something to CELEBRATE. To remove my top and wave my arms wildly and scream hallelujah, as, for me, so much of the whole thing about DRINKING DIET COKE was the routine of it; driving to 7-11, picking the cup (32 oz? 44 oz? 64 (gasp!) oz?), applying pressure to the ice dispenser, 3/4 full, then filling my cup with that beautiful (dangerous, not-good-for-me-at-all) caffeine version of liquid love. But, then… I gave it up. Fell off the wagon, gave it up again, fell again, quit, fell, quit, fell—then QUIT FOR GOOD. But now… NOW… to find that I can GO--- go through ALL THOSE SAME STEPS….without the caffeine (right, what’s the point? I know) but it’s still in THE DIET COKE FAMILY, and now… I can do it again. I’m limiting myself to a few times a week.. but it feels good again. It feels like HOME.
The real reason I’m here:
We are smack-in-the-middle of a big GAY & LESBIAN FILM FESTIVAL here in LA right now, and our new film, our documentary is having it’s WORLD PREMIERE this weekend…and there’s been all kinds of excitement and potential deals and the such, so we’re flying high and etc… but, and I think you’ll be as excited as we were, if you’re a long time reader here, because, believe it or not, I have a:
Here’s what went down:
My Amazing Girlfriend/Same-Sex Partner/Lady-Lover/Meal Ticket/Kick-Ass Director and I (and a few friends) were attending THE BIG GAY & LESBIAN FILM FESTIVAL here in LA and were waiting for a screening to start in a theater in THE DIRECTORS GUILD (beautiful, 600 seat theater) and we’re gossiping and looking at all the LESBIANS and taking-it-all-in, when I see a woman ONE ROW AHEAD OF US and she looks VAGUELY FAMILIAR… and I realize… yes, I realize… that IT’S SUE!!!
SUE, formerly of “Bill and Sue” fame (please read about them in earlier “Bill and Sue” updates if you don’t know the story) was sitting, ONE ROW AHEAD OF US at THE BIG GAY & LESBIAN FILM FESTIVAL here in LA. Whaaaaaaaaaaaaa? Wow!!!
Right on Sue!!
Now, if you remember (or If I remembered to tell you) my last contact with SUE had been uncomfortable, I’d had to draw some boundaries and release her and her DRAMA to the UNIVERSE, as she was suuuuuuuuuper unhappy and conflicted after COMING OUT AS A LESBIAN and LEAVING HER HUSBAND of FORTY YEARS at the age of 62, and wanted me to TAKE IT ALL ON… and, well… MY PLATE IS FULL, so I couldn’t--- sooooooooooo, SUE worked through her issues, met people, started a NEW LIFE… and…. now….. has ….. a GIRLFRIEND.
A YOUNGER GIRLFRIEND.
Now, when I say younger, you have to understand that I mean Younger for SUE. Sue is 62. The Girlfriend is probably 55, but… let me say, a really good catch for SUE.
Here’s how it all went down:
I realized that, indeed, it was SUE sitting ONE ROW AHEAD OF US waiting for a screening to occur at THE BIG GAY & LESBIAN FILM FESTIVAL here in LA and decided that for CLOSURE PURPOSES, I should GO OVER TO SUE and say hello and wish her well. So, I made my way over to SUE (as all my people watched in amazement and glee) and as soon as she saw me, she JUMPED UP, screamed, grabbed me, hugged me and started to WEEP. Weep. So, I look and right next to her is her kind-of-easy-on-the-eye-for-someone-fifty-five GIRLFRIEND. Sue pulled her up and introduced us and was maybe having a hot flash while the whole thing was going on. AND. And—THE GIRLFRIEND, the “younger… fifty five year old girlfriend” couldn’t keep her hands off SUE and said they were SO IN LOVE and SO LUCKY TO HAVE FOUND EACH OTHER… and then… I….. started to weep. Very much on the down-low, but I knew it and so did my left eye. Wow. What a wonderful HAPPY ENDING/NEW BEGINNING for SUE. Wow.
She pulled me aside and thanked me. For being there for her when I was. She reiterated that she had been SO TORTURED her entire adult life, and had been FIGHTING her FEELINGS FOR WOMEN… and had become SUICIDAL last year because she thought she wouldn’t ever be able to do THIS. And now, she was SO HAPPY, because she was DOING THIS. She had found a woman, THIS WOMAN… and her life had never been happier. She hugged me again. And I returned to my group. I couldn’t even speak. So, you know it was something, eh?
So…. What I’m saying. What I’m saying is: Don’t give up on yourselves… it’s scary (whatever IT might be for you, individually) but if there is something… SOME THING… some THING…. Don’t ever believe that it’s too late. It might have seemed that way for SUE. 62. Sixty-two, for god’s sake, and now… after all that time… she’s finally happy. Happy and in love.
So, what about Bill? Right? My heart goes out to BILL. I didn’t want to bring him up to SUE, as she seemed so damn happy, but we see BILL… outside, doing the same things, the same routine he practiced when SUE was there…and he has JUST started to maybe… maybe wave a cordial hello once in a while… and I don’t know how it will all turn out for BILL… I hope there is SOMETHING… SOME THING. Some THING that can bring BILL as much joy as SUE has achieved… I just hope he finds it in himself to go and look for it.
I’m off to go participate in THE BIG GAY & LESBIAN FILM FESTIVAL here in LA with My Amazing Girlfriend/Same-Sex Partner/Lady-Lover/Meal Ticket/Kick-Ass Director… and our film screens FRIDAY and SATURDAY… so WISH US LUCK, eh?
Have a beautiful week, you crazy kids… and I hope to write more, soon(er).