2003-07-28 - 7:15 p.m.

Exhausted.

I�m waving my hands wildly in a �pick me, pick me� kind of way� and BEGGING the powers that are in charge of these things to allow �LUCKY�, my beloved, wonderful, AMAZING FRIEND WHO WAS DUMPED to GET THE HELL OFF of this ROLLERCOASTER RIDE OF SADNESS.

We�ve been working hard at helping �LUCKY� take action.

Believe me, AT FIRST she/we all were paralyzed with shock and grief and surprise and �what?� and �this must be a dream/nightmare� after her girlfriend of almost 2 years/THE HOMEWRECKER dumped her 2 weeks ago today. How? Why? When? What happened?

Lots of that.

We (My girlfriend/same-sex partner/lady-lover/meal-ticket/incredibly strong human/heroine) and I have been doing EVERYTHING WE COULD to be of comfort, support and�indeed, more comfort. Here�s the thing: APPARENTLY�. I can be� oh, perhaps� some might say� uhhhhhh, SMOTHERING during times of need� and I was careful/cautious and tried not to SMOTHER our dear, sweet �LUCKY�� but she was just so damn SMOTHERABLE� (I�m still in UTTER SHOCK, 2 weeks later, that THE HOMEWRECKER actually left her). So� I might have SMOTHERED.. a bit. A smidgen. Sue me.

So, we sat with "LUCKY" and listened and tried to �process� and tried to take her mind of of it� all that first week. Then, we celebrated LUCKY�s BIRTHDAY with her Last Monday (That�s right, THE HOMEWRECKER broke up with her a week before her birthday)� and drank a toast (okay SEVERAL TOASTS) to better times and better judgement and even a toast to the OTHER WOMAN/FUTURE EX whose heart THE HOMEWRECKER will break within her obvious, but previously unknown to us, 2 year limit. (note: yes, I�m holding a grudge. Actively Grudging. Begruding, if you will. Right- I�m begrudging and besmirching THE HOMEWRECKER. Sue me.)

So���.. Anyway--- ALL LAST WEEK we were on a HOUSE-HUNTING SEARCH for �LUCKY�. We drove her around. We looked at things. We veto-ed A LOT of places.

All we knew was that we had to get LUCKY moved out of WEST HOLLYWOOD, where all her memories surrounded her like the vegetables in a �love-gone-wrong� stew.

Finally, Saturday�. We went to an open house. �LUCKY� had LOVED the place from the outside� but we needed to impress the owners/landlords. When we arrived, much to our dismay, there were a few other people already there, looking. I wanted to push all of them out the beautiful windows of this top floor duplex, 2 bedroom apartment that would have been perfect for "LUCKY". One by one, I just wanted to eliminate the competition. Was that so wrong?? Lean. Oops. Push. Oops. Sorry. Oops. Ouch. Sue me.

A husband and wife (in their mid 30�s) were the owners/landlords and they were showing all the �Potential Tenants� around. We (Me, My girlfriend/same-sex partner/lady-lover/meal-ticket/showpiece and �Lucky�s� best-boyfriend --think of a reallyreally funny, witty, handsome WILL from Will and Grace and you�ve got our man) were the SUPPORT POSSE/BOARD OF ADVISORS along for the tour. We all did everything we could to charm the owners/landlords� and then, suddenly, I realized that we were caught in the middle of some sort of sick game with the owners/landlords: a cross between a job interview and a blind date, but the rejection, if there was any, would go directly into LUCKY�S POT.

We left there with a �they�d be crazy not to take you� speech for �LUCKY�, but realized that she might not get it because she has a tiny little dog and they didn�t want ANY dogs, not even a tiny little one. Not even a tiny, little 12-year old one. Damn them and their perfect 2 bedroom duplex with the gorgeous view and the perfect breeze. Damn them straight to hell. I hope whoever they DO PICK plays loud music, wets the bed and is irresponsible with their trash cans. I also hope whoever they do pick ends up having an affair with either the husband or the wife, and the husband or the wife end up kicking themselves for not choosing that SWEET, SINGLE GIRL with the tiny, little dog and the cute, funny posse of friends. They�ll live to regret it.

So� Sunday, LUCKY found a place. (Can I hear an AMEN? Please????!!!!)

Lucky will have a NEW HOME, which she will move into in about 2 weeks� and she can start over again, and heal, and sleep and dream and�. eventually� who knows, again.

A BIG SHOUT OUT of THANKS and evenmore THANKS to all of you for your notes for LUCKY� she�s gonna make it� after all.

Note: Yesterday WOULD HAVE BEEN Lucky and The Homewreckers' 2 year anniversary�damn the HOMEWRECKER. Okay, no more �would have been�s� allowed. I promise.

Another Note: My girlfriend/same-sex partner/lady-lover/meal-ticket/heroine has been SO AMAZING through this whole thing. I wish I could take a tiny piece of her DNA (you pick the piece) and CLONE HER, and give copies of her out to all my friends who deserve their own most amazing girlfriend/same-sex partner/lady-lover/meal-ticket.

Sometimes/Most of the time I feel GUILTY for having such a good one!

And on another subject, but still within my �why do I get so involved in everyone�s lives?� way:

I have to tell you�

I�m worried about SUE.

I think I mentioned that I hadn�t really seen her, and I�ve seen BILL coming and going, but not SUE. Of course my mind runs away with itself (always.. why? I�m cursed!) and I worry that BILL has done something to SUE and she�s in the attic or basement, being restrained by hundreds of tiny pieces of cloth meant for THE MINIATURES, but somehow tied/woven/braided together (with a lot of patience) by BILL, just to make a point.

Tomorrow I�m going to go over there after BILL leaves for work and see what I can find out.

I�ll let you know.

Xoxoxo more soon.....