2003-08-20
- 7:18 p.m. I can�t wait to share ALL THE HORRIFIC DETAILS (ish) with all y�all in the very near future, but let�s just say that I can now SORT OF �sit� (if you will) on the edge of my chair and type at my computer and procrastinate again� just like BEFORE I BROKE IN HALF 8 days ago. I can�t wait to tell you about my NEW CHIROPRACTOR (a poor man�s Julianne Moore meets Shelly Long) and we can speculate (not speculum, speculate) together how she�s spending ALL THE MONEY I�VE GIVEN HER in the last 8 days. The one thing I will SHARE with you tonight, as I SORT OF �sit� (if you will) on the edge of my chair and type at my computer and procrastinate again is this: A) Hold a LARGE CUP while you PEE into it (and rest your hand on the top of her head for balance; B) Shave your legs (NOT during a candle-lit bath) C) Put on/remove your shoes D) Put a PILLOW under your legs (not in a good way) E) Facilitate your PERSONAL HYGIENE ISSUES. Sexy, right? Please, if I can get an AMEN? Can I get an Amen??? While you�re at it� will ALL OF YOU please give a GIANT ROUND OF APPLAUSE to MY most AMAZING GIRLFRIEND/SAME-SEX PARTNER/LADY-LOVER/MEAL TICKET/JEWISH-AMERICAN CAREGIVER�. She ROCKS the house!! xoxo more soon from here�. |