2004-02-03 - 7:38 p.m.

I guess the best word to describe it would be MELTDOWN.

A few minutes ago� right here in the middle of our home�. I became a two year old child in the middle of an amusement park who�s had too much sugar, too many rides on the giant tea-cup and one too many chances to see the giant mouse with the white-gloved hands saying �hello kids� in a high-pitched voice. I was WORSE than Howard Dean during THAT pep rally speech. Pissy-er than Jerry Fallwell is about Melissa and her new �wife�.More set-off than Janet Jackson after her recent �wardrobe malfunction�.

AND�. AND�. AND� My very patient, I think-she-still-loves-me-girlfriend/same-sex partner/lady-lover/meal-ticket/collaborative partner and director on the project we�re working on�. Held me in her arms (and apparently NOT so she could put the silencer-tip of a GUN into the back of my skull) and told me SHE LOVED ME. She told me I was on overload� and that SHE LOVED ME. She reminded me that we�d been riding a rollercoaster� and that SHE LOVED ME. She informed me that I need to CHILL� and that SHE LOVED ME.

I�m a lucky bastard-ess. I wish I had one of HER for EACH OF YOU.

Additionally, I have those swollen-cry-baby-eyes that you get after you have a tear-filled MELTDOWN and then your girlfriend/same-sex partner/lady-lover/meal-ticket/collaborative partner holds you in her arms and tells you she loves you� instead of calling you an EVIL, MANIACAL, RAGING BITCH� which is much, much more accurate.

Issues. I promise to work on them tomorrow morning with my therapist(ish).

In the meantime� I hope ALL OF YOU are doing YOUR thing� and NOT melting down.

Xoxoxoxo more soon.

Loads of love to y�all.