2004-07-22 - 3:54 p.m.

See how the possibility of having to purchase hundreds of Krispy Kreme donuts motivated me to get my ass back in this chair and write an update? I believe that I have now accomplished the complete and total split of my personality, so that I can now threaten myself from one portion of my head and respond to that threat from the other. I don�t think of it so much as a mental illness as I do a mental �situation�.

Hey kids� HAPPY SUMMER. How�s it going for all of you??

I have SO MANY THINGS to cover, and I�m not sure how they�ll spill out, so I�ll just keep typing and see what happens. Note: this could be a ramble.

Let me thank you again ( and when I say �you�, I mean ALL OF YOU, but even more specifically, the several of you who email with kind nudges of �where the hell are you�, etc).

We (my AMAZING Girlfriend/Same-Sex Partner/Lady-Lover/Meal Ticket/Pole-Dancer and I are still COMING DOWN(ish) from the ROCKIN� GOOD TIME we had at OUTFEST (LA Gay & Lesbian Film Festival). Our film screened TWICE (both times audiences were totally right-on and generous with their kind comments and appreciative of the film� which is all you can hope for. To touch the audience (not THAT way) and move people. We did that, I�m pretty sure. I even got to meet a DIARYLAND-er for the first time� and she and her �ladyfriend� were very fresh and cool. Thanks for coming, Vanessa!

OUTFEST had tons of good films, for example: an interesting documentary about DRAG KINGS, (who knew???) with an after party at a LEZZIE BAR in the VALLEY� and a �Live� DRAG KING SHOW (wow!!! Who knew???) that ROCKED THE HOUSE. I must admit, there�s something very enjoyable about cute tomboy(ish) girls dressed as boys. (wow!! Who knew?? Okay, THIS ONE I knew about).

The LEZZIE BAR itself (although it was located in North Hollywood, a little more NORTH than we usually hang out) it had a crowd of ladies/grrls/women/chicks of all different ages/colors/sizes/backgrounds.

THAT was refreshing and good for the soul.

In the continuing report, one night of the festival found LESBIANS TAKING OVER the DIRECTORS GUILD�. Must have been 800 of �em (us) and we looked good. We watched films (good and bad) about lezzies (good and bad) and celebrated the whole damn thing. Very empowering and right-on and rockin�.

Once again, the soul was happy.

My AMAZING Girlfriend/Same-Sex Partner/Lady-Lover/Meal Ticket/Pole-Dancer/Film Director met TONS of Hollywood-Type-Folk (whatev) and we had several inquiries from OTHER FILM FESTIVALS wanting to see our film and possibly include it in their programming� so, yeah. There�s that.

One more FILM FESTIVAL THING (and then I swear I�ll lay off the reportage on that for awhile.): If you ARE in North Carolina, and wanna see our film, it�s going to be at the NCGLFF in August.

Email me and I�ll tell you about it ([email protected]).

On the UPDATE front, I have NEWS about �LUCKY� (formerly of �LUCKY and the HOMEWRECKER�) as she was just COMPLETED the ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY of THE HOMEWRECKER leaving her for ANOTHER WOMAN and leaving her life in a shambles. Oy to the Shambles.

Seems that our dear �LUCKY� has herself, now, perhaps, maybe, we�ll see, MET SOMEONE. Finally LET herself meet someone, I should say. I guess the VEIL OF SADNESS wasn�t looking so good with her outfits anymore, so she decided to SET IT ON FIRE or THROW IT AWAY or WHATEVER, because apparently (as reported to me very CASUALLY last night over COSMOPOLITANS at her BIRTHDAY DINNER: She met someone. She�s casually (we�ll see, we�ll see) DATING SOMEONE. Can I get a HALLELUAH for her? For the fact that, at the very least, �LUCKY� is back on board.

AMEN for HER. She deserves it. Of course I haven�t met this new WOMAN yet, but I�m already trying to get a SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER and SAMPLE OF HER DNA so I can run a background check. Don�t FUCK with my people. Please.

I will MEET this NEW SOMEONE on Sunday at a BIRTHDAY/POOL PARTY for �LUCKY� and I will begin my �PRE-JUDGEMENT� process along with my APPRAISAL OF WORTHINESS and other painful yet non-detectable procedures.

I�ll keep you posted.

Kids, that�s it for now. I�m off to download some tunes and get back to the NEW script.

More soon�. I promise. Don�t forget about me.

Xoxoxoxo Me