Cut, cut. - 2007-02-09

No, really... how are YOU? - 2006-10-23

And now, finally: something (ish) - 2006-07-27

What Happened to March and April, eh??? - 2006-04-25

Well hello there, February. - 2006-02-16

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< L DykeWrite3 # >

2003-08-26 - 10:53 p.m.

Sitting. Sitting upright at my desk like a normal person.

I’m doing a seated-version of the happy dance. I swear.

I’m seated… upright at my desk like a normal person and I’m filled with glee(ish).

Here’s the catch, and maybe it’s due to some sort of HALLUCINATION(ish) after “withdrawing” from the assortment of pain-relief “items” I was utilizing, but… I can’t kick the feeling that, indeed, I’m sitting… sitting upright at my desk like a normal person, but… It’s my impression that I’m wearing… a GIANT CHICKEN SUIT (Think: Team Mascot…or a costumed-person standing outside of a chicken-related restaurant, waving their wings, trying to get you to come in, whatever). So, yeah—other than that slight “GIANT CHICKEN SUIT” thing… I’m good. (cluck.)

Wait…. FIRST: A big, giant SLOPPY KISS OF THANKS that makes ALL OF Y’ALL’s faces blush for your many, many “Get Well Soon/Amen to your Girlfriend” Emails, Notes and Guestbook signings. You all FRANKIN’ ROCK!

SO MANY THINGS have transpired/been lived/have happened since my last entry… and I wanna try and do a little bit of “cliff notes/catching up” if I can.

Let’s give it a GIANT CHICKEN SUITED try. (cluck, cluck).

Imagine, if you will, ME (as best you can), lying on a SERIES OF COUCHES, as My AMAZING Girlfriend/same-sex partner/lady-lover/meal-ticket/heroine/wish there was one of her for each of my friends…. Helped “LUCKY” move into her new place. That’s right you guys. It’s time for:

Digressing briefly (which ain’t easy with these giant wings… damn feathers), let me just advise ANY OF YOU that if you EVER PLAN ON BREAKING SOMEONES HEART, it’s best to just SPRING IT ON THEM, don’t allow them any chance to process the information. Make sure you tell them you NEVER MEANT TO HURT THEM as you STICK IT IN and TURN IT… and, while you’re at it, make sure that you leave YOUR PETS behind for them to take care of, while you go off on WEEKEND TRIPS with your NEW GIRLFRIEND. Oh yeah, and…. have a nice time in HELL.

So, anyway…. LUCKY has NOT been doing well. Still SHOCKED, DEVASTATED and NOT SLEEPING. Still LOOKING AT PICTURES from a recent trip they took together, pointing to THE HOMEWRECKER and saying “Does THAT look like somebody who was unhappy?”. However, with the help of My AMAZING Girlfriend/same-sex partner/lady-lover/meal-ticket/heroine/wish there was one of her for each of my friends…. LUCKY found a NEW HOME… and SUNDAY was moving day.

Prior to moving day, My AMAZING Girlfriend/same-sex partner/lady-lover/meal-ticket/heroine/wish there was one of her for each of my friends… helped LUCKY pack. I layed on the couch at LUCKY & THE HOMEWRECKERS once-very-sweet home, watching a marathon of “I LOVE THE ‘70s” while THEY packed. I pointed to things occasionally, asking- “Can I just wrap those?” and then I’d hear a giant “NO!” or “NIET” from the two of them, then someone would throw BUBBLEWRAP at me… as I lay there, all defenseless. There I am, as if in an IRON LUNG, or FRIEDA KAHLO in her last days… unable to really be THAT mobile, but insisting on coming along for MORAL SUPPORT and to not be left alone with the VICODIN… and I was being made a target, like ALICE, on the Brady Bunch, in the Backyard Dunking Booth Episode.

So…. They packed, I layed. This went on for HOURS (the entire ‘70’s, quite frankly) and then, when it was time for us to leave (LUCKY had already missed her scheduled NOON-TIME CRYING SESSION, and couldn’t emotionally afford to miss her 5PM SESSION as well) and I looked at LUCKY, standing in the living room filled with boxes of what was formerly the “once-very-sweet” home she shared with THE HOMEWRECKER… and I saw the tears preparing themselves in her eyes. They were lining up like planes waiting to take off from the airport. I gave her a big hug and told her we loved her… and then we left her there…in THAT HOUSE… with all THOSE BOXES OF THINGS… and all her sadness, sadness that couldn’t get boxed up, but that will probably accompany her to the new house…. At least for a while.

SUNDAY came, and so did HER MOVERS… 3 GUYS AND A GIANT TRUCK (not the company name) and it went SO SMOOTHLY. Seriously, this was ONE LADY who deserved to NOT have a single MOVING HORROR STORY (other than the whole “unexpected ending to what she thought was the love-relationship for the rest of her days” thing).

So, we followed to THE NEW HOUSE…. Watched THE 3 GUYS unload THE TRUCK, happily and dripping with sweat… and thanked them (me, from the couch, which was the first item they brought in so I could LAY on it.). After THE 3 GUYS WITH THE GIANT TRUCK left, My AMAZING Girlfriend/same-sex partner/lady-lover/meal-ticket/heroine/wish there was one of her for each of my friends….continued HELPING LUCKY by putting things together, hanging curtains, reaching high things on a ladder, lifting things and putting them in different places, etc. Right? Wow, right? Yep. She’s THAT WONDERFUL. I watched it all from the comfort of the couch.

HOURS LATER, it was once again time to let LUCKY have her PRIVATE SADNESS. It’s almost like a little emotional egg-timer goes off, and we sense it, and we realize that LUCKY needs to let-loose with the tears… so we make our way to the door of THE NEW HOUSE and we tell LUCKY that this is THE FIRST DAY OF THE REST OF HER DAYS… that it’s ALL GONNA BE GOOD… and, that once again, WE LOVE HER. She hugs us both, and then her little dog comes running up to the door to say goodbye to us. I watched LUCKY looking around as her dog made her way down the long hallway…and she bent down to pick her up, gave her a big hug and told her little dog that it was ALL GONNA BE OKAY.

I hope they BOTH believe that.

Light a candle for Lucky, won’t you?

p.s. That whole GIANT CHICKEN SUIT THING… it’s passed now.

p.s + 1 : A lot more catching up will follow tomorrow.