2003-08-26 - 10:53 p.m.

Sitting. Sitting upright at my desk like a normal person.

I�m doing a seated-version of the happy dance. I swear.

I�m seated� upright at my desk like a normal person and I�m filled with glee(ish).

Here�s the catch, and maybe it�s due to some sort of HALLUCINATION(ish) after �withdrawing� from the assortment of pain-relief �items� I was utilizing, but� I can�t kick the feeling that, indeed, I�m sitting� sitting upright at my desk like a normal person, but� It�s my impression that I�m wearing� a GIANT CHICKEN SUIT (Think: Team Mascot�or a costumed-person standing outside of a chicken-related restaurant, waving their wings, trying to get you to come in, whatever). So, yeah�other than that slight �GIANT CHICKEN SUIT� thing� I�m good. (cluck.)

Wait�. FIRST: A big, giant SLOPPY KISS OF THANKS that makes ALL OF Y�ALL�s faces blush for your many, many �Get Well Soon/Amen to your Girlfriend� Emails, Notes and Guestbook signings. You all FRANKIN� ROCK!

SO MANY THINGS have transpired/been lived/have happened since my last entry� and I wanna try and do a little bit of �cliff notes/catching up� if I can.

Let�s give it a GIANT CHICKEN SUITED try. (cluck, cluck).

Imagine, if you will, ME (as best you can), lying on a SERIES OF COUCHES, as My AMAZING Girlfriend/same-sex partner/lady-lover/meal-ticket/heroine/wish there was one of her for each of my friends�. Helped �LUCKY� move into her new place. That�s right you guys. It�s time for:

Digressing briefly (which ain�t easy with these giant wings� damn feathers), let me just advise ANY OF YOU that if you EVER PLAN ON BREAKING SOMEONES HEART, it�s best to just SPRING IT ON THEM, don�t allow them any chance to process the information. Make sure you tell them you NEVER MEANT TO HURT THEM as you STICK IT IN and TURN IT� and, while you�re at it, make sure that you leave YOUR PETS behind for them to take care of, while you go off on WEEKEND TRIPS with your NEW GIRLFRIEND. Oh yeah, and�. have a nice time in HELL.

So, anyway�. LUCKY has NOT been doing well. Still SHOCKED, DEVASTATED and NOT SLEEPING. Still LOOKING AT PICTURES from a recent trip they took together, pointing to THE HOMEWRECKER and saying �Does THAT look like somebody who was unhappy?�. However, with the help of My AMAZING Girlfriend/same-sex partner/lady-lover/meal-ticket/heroine/wish there was one of her for each of my friends�. LUCKY found a NEW HOME� and SUNDAY was moving day.

Prior to moving day, My AMAZING Girlfriend/same-sex partner/lady-lover/meal-ticket/heroine/wish there was one of her for each of my friends� helped LUCKY pack. I layed on the couch at LUCKY & THE HOMEWRECKERS once-very-sweet home, watching a marathon of �I LOVE THE �70s� while THEY packed. I pointed to things occasionally, asking- �Can I just wrap those?� and then I�d hear a giant �NO!� or �NIET� from the two of them, then someone would throw BUBBLEWRAP at me� as I lay there, all defenseless. There I am, as if in an IRON LUNG, or FRIEDA KAHLO in her last days� unable to really be THAT mobile, but insisting on coming along for MORAL SUPPORT and to not be left alone with the VICODIN� and I was being made a target, like ALICE, on the Brady Bunch, in the Backyard Dunking Booth Episode.

So�. They packed, I layed. This went on for HOURS (the entire �70�s, quite frankly) and then, when it was time for us to leave (LUCKY had already missed her scheduled NOON-TIME CRYING SESSION, and couldn�t emotionally afford to miss her 5PM SESSION as well) and I looked at LUCKY, standing in the living room filled with boxes of what was formerly the �once-very-sweet� home she shared with THE HOMEWRECKER� and I saw the tears preparing themselves in her eyes. They were lining up like planes waiting to take off from the airport. I gave her a big hug and told her we loved her� and then we left her there�in THAT HOUSE� with all THOSE BOXES OF THINGS� and all her sadness, sadness that couldn�t get boxed up, but that will probably accompany her to the new house�. At least for a while.

SUNDAY came, and so did HER MOVERS� 3 GUYS AND A GIANT TRUCK (not the company name) and it went SO SMOOTHLY. Seriously, this was ONE LADY who deserved to NOT have a single MOVING HORROR STORY (other than the whole �unexpected ending to what she thought was the love-relationship for the rest of her days� thing).

So, we followed to THE NEW HOUSE�. Watched THE 3 GUYS unload THE TRUCK, happily and dripping with sweat� and thanked them (me, from the couch, which was the first item they brought in so I could LAY on it.). After THE 3 GUYS WITH THE GIANT TRUCK left, My AMAZING Girlfriend/same-sex partner/lady-lover/meal-ticket/heroine/wish there was one of her for each of my friends�.continued HELPING LUCKY by putting things together, hanging curtains, reaching high things on a ladder, lifting things and putting them in different places, etc. Right? Wow, right? Yep. She�s THAT WONDERFUL. I watched it all from the comfort of the couch.

HOURS LATER, it was once again time to let LUCKY have her PRIVATE SADNESS. It�s almost like a little emotional egg-timer goes off, and we sense it, and we realize that LUCKY needs to let-loose with the tears� so we make our way to the door of THE NEW HOUSE and we tell LUCKY that this is THE FIRST DAY OF THE REST OF HER DAYS� that it�s ALL GONNA BE GOOD� and, that once again, WE LOVE HER. She hugs us both, and then her little dog comes running up to the door to say goodbye to us. I watched LUCKY looking around as her dog made her way down the long hallway�and she bent down to pick her up, gave her a big hug and told her little dog that it was ALL GONNA BE OKAY.

I hope they BOTH believe that.

Light a candle for Lucky, won�t you?

p.s. That whole GIANT CHICKEN SUIT THING� it�s passed now.

p.s + 1 : A lot more catching up will follow tomorrow.

xoxoxo